It involved more controlled breathing as well, so i ‘m getting closer to meditative practice and sure it shows.
Looking back at what happened yesterday, i’m thinking about the assumptions that underlie the thought that anything ‘spontaneous’ and ‘unmeditated’ or ‘subconscious’ is or should be happening quickly so in order to reach that domain, we should engage in quick flows of spontaneous gestures.
Acting silly so to speak.
Now in my practice of ‘Meditation Writing’ i have discovered there’s a whole dynamism of tempi involved and a fast tempo usually indicates there’s more thought present that you need (or want) to get away from. So the intuitive grasp of linking ‘spontaneous’ to ‘fast’ is perhaps very misleading and mostly the more you slow down the deeper you get into the un-conscious.Open up the gate that you are, instead of trying to squeeze everything through.
Also, when slowing down like this i notice that one gets more in touch with a notion of circuitry, a sequence of passing through gates of intensity. There’s this sense of an enfolding landscape, space.
Using the resulting ‘gignogram’ of the lyrical movement (the brownish curls in the drawing) very consciously as a structuring lead, a building method in composing the poems works very well for me. Sure there was lots of ‘ravishing’ things going on while making it, but the making of the text was very conscious and technical. You should be aware that the textual composition is following very strict formal restraints: there can be only 10 lines of 10 syllables each, divided into two mirroring stanzas of four lines with a two line ‘stretto’ in the middle. The idea being that each line starts of a wave that is repeated fuga-like in the following verses and then ‘set free’ in the stretto. The ending four lines than try to gather the 4 lyrical phrases and close them one by one, so you have this unfolding and (re)folding effect. (in the English version nothing much survives the translation effort, i’m afraid).
I think it is save to say that doing this exercise will almost undoubtedly (in each case) lead to a text that is in some way satisfactory to me as an author, so in this case, and with the cautionary advice that this only is certified to work for me personally, i can conclude that i can now deliberately engage in the activity of writing an acceptable poem that functions in the whole of my writing. In other words: i can decide to write a ‘good’ poem any time, on command. The claim should of course be tested in a controlled environment, i will get to that.
It sure shows in my resistance in starting the process, it already feels like a job that needs to get done. An extremely pleasant task, but a task nonetheless. Once you start the routine, i feel there’s no way out except failure or ending it.You can decide to do it, but you have to commit yourself for almost an hour of very intensive labour.
It’s very sensual, this one actually felt quite orgastic, so there was a strong sense of ‘inescapable urge’.
Why do I commit to these experiments?
Well perhaps in the first place to demystify the creation process of lyrical poetry, while studying the nature of what we denote with ‘lyrical’, how one could qualify a movement or event as ‘lyrical’, etc.How can we proceed in any sensible way with setting out what it is that makes us ‘human’, what differentiates our activities from artificially engineered ‘pleasing’ use of language or ‘poetry’ if we don’t cut the crap when trying to describe what actually happens during the creation process.
I’m old enough now to be sure that my writing has at least some ‘lyrical’ value so i’m using what i normally do to established a controlled way of arriving at similar results. I don’t think it will be satisfying for writers after me to have me dead and gone stating that ‘well yeah i had some visions and waw-experiences and then i wrote all of these masterpieces overnight, so kiddo just you read my poems and generally mess up your live and perhaps perhaps you will become a great writer yourself if mommy Muse will have you that is’.
So no: cut the crap and try to establish what actually happens when this lyrical shit hits the fan…
So to put it straight: i commit to these experiments in order to establish a technical apparatus and a controlled experimental environment to rationally investigate and communicate what we do not understand or cannot explain concerning the ‘lyrical’.
Resulting ‘traditional’ poem:
zij spreekt zo spreekt ook gras de voeten aan
zij lacht zo licht schiet in de vijver los
zij raakt mij aan en zo krijgt zij haar naam
waar zij gebeurt, gebeurt verbijstering
de voeten leggen streling uit aan gras
de vijver laat de zon zijn vrijheid zien
haar naam schrijft zij alleen bij volle maan
English version of the resulting poem*:
she speaks thus grass addresses feet
she smiles thus light slips loose in ponds
she touches me and thus she gets her name
of her nowhere a memory is kept
where she happens what happens is perplexity
a lock of hair gives the shoulder its being
feet explain caress to grass
the ponds hold his freedom to the sun
she only writes her name at full moon
